The LEGO Batman Movie Quotes

The LEGO Batman Movie quotes help bring the classic superhero Batman and the favorite building toy LEGO together for a feature film. The animated action-comedy movie was written by Seth Grahame-Smith, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Jared Stern and John Whittington using the characters created by Bob Kane and Bill Finger. Chris McKay directed The LEGO Batman Movie, which opened theatrically on February 10, 2017.

In The LEGO Batman Movie, Bruce Wayne/Batman (voiced by Will Arnett) is doing what he does, saving Gotham City from bad guys. But at home, he's lonely and usually interacts only with his talking computer and man servant Alfred Pennyworth (voiced by Ralph Fiennes). So one day when Batman makes an off-hand comment about adopting an orphan, Alfred sees the opportunity to improve Batman's life and adopts Robin (voiced by Michael Cera) on Batman's behalf. 

While Batman isn't keen on having a kid in his home, especially one who wants to touch all of his gadgets, this does come in handy when Batman is forced to fight The Joker (voiced by Zach Galifianakis) from a hostile takeover of Gotham City. Batman also gets further help from Batgirl (voiced by Rosario Dawson), not that Batman feels he needs any help.

With additional voice talent from Mariah Carey, Jenny Slate and Billy Dee Williams, among others, The LEGO Batman Movie opened alongside the likes of The Comedian, The Space Between Us, A Dog's Purpose, and Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.  

Robin: It's the Batcave! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Look, it's the Batsub!
Batman: Don't touch that!
Robin: The Batzeppelin!
Batman: Don't touch that either!
Robin: It's the Batkayak!
Batman: No
Robin: Do I get a costume? I love it, but the pants are just a little tight. I got an idea. It's better!
Batman: I can only look you in the eyes right now.

Robin is gleeful and excited when he enters the Batcave for the first time in these The LEGO Batman Movie quotes. Batman, who instructs Robin to keep his hands off just about everything, does not share those happy feelings.

Joker: You wanna play games, do you Batman? Save the city or catch your greatest enemy!
Batman: You think you're my greatest enemy?
The Joker: Who else drives you to one-up them the way I do?
Batman: Superman
Joker: Superman's not a bad guy!
Batman: I like to fight around.
Joker: You're seriously saying that there's nothing special about us?
Batman: There is no us, never will be.

The Joker tries to offer nemesis Batman some fierce words but Batman comes in for the ultimate diss in these The LEGO Batman Movie quotes. Not only does Batman deny that the Joker is his greatest enemy, he makes it clear that their relationship is nothing special whatsoever.

News Anchor: It must be great to be Batman.
Fan: Batman, we love you!
Batman: Thank you! I'm blushing super hard under the mask.
Chef: Batman! Mwah! 
Fan: Thanks, Batman!
News Anchor: I can only imagine he's going home right now to party the night away surrounded by friends and lady activewear models.
Batman: Hey, computer, I'm home.

If this The LEGO Batman Movie quote proves anything, it's that Batman's exciting life is much more exciting in the minds of his fans than real life. While everyone thinks he's going home to party with models, in reality, he's going home to a talking computer and microwavable dinner.

Barbara Gordon: Hi, Barbara Gordon, new police commissioner. It's my dream for the police force to team up with Batman.
Bruce Wayne: What?!
Barbara Gordon: Wouldn't that be better?
Bruce Wayne: I hate everything you just said.

When Police Commissioner Barbara Gordon announces her dream for the police to work with Batman, Bruce Wayne could not disagree more. Bruce, AKA Batman, doesn't want the police breathing down his neck when he does his dirty work, not that he can jump up and say as much.

Robin: Why did you build this thing with only one seat?
Batman: Uh, cause last time I checked, I only have one butt.

Robin asks what Batman feels is a silly question in these The LEGO Batman Movie quotes. Batman only built one seat in their ship because, obviously, he only has one butt.

Batman: Let's go defeat the Joker!
Robin: We're going on a family trip! I can wear my costume too!
Batman: Well, luckily for us, you left your costume back at... oh, nope, under your clothes. That's perfect.

Robin is overjoyed to go on a family trip with Batman, especially to do something that allows him to wear his costume. While Batman is relieved that Robin left the embarrassing costume at home, Robin surprises him by showing he's been wearing it the whole time under his clothes.

Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce, your greatest fear is
Batman: Snakes?
Alfred Pennyworth: No
Batman: Clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: No, it's being part of a family again.
Batman: No, it's snake clowns because you put that idea in my head. 
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, you need to take responsibility for your life and it starts by raising the young orphan you adopted. 
Batman: I thought I was being sarcastic.

Alfred informs Batman that he needs to get his life together, especially now that he has an adopted orphan to take care of. Everything about that statement perplexes Batman, especially the part about having adopted an orphan.

Batman: Hey, computer, I'm home.
Computer: Welcome home, sir. Initializing Batcave music. So, did anything exciting happened today?
Batman: I saved the city again. It was off the chain. Anyway, I should probably have some grub.
Computer: Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge.
Batman: Oh, that's my favorite, I can't wait. Not 20 minutes, stupid.
...
Batman: I deserve this today, today I deserve it.

Batman might go home each night to an empty home with his talking computer but he does see the value of a hard day's work. That's why, in these The LEGO Batman Movie quotes, that he treats himself to a nice microwaved meal, or he would if the microwave would cooperate.

Batman: Hey mom, hey dad, I um, I saved the city again today, I think you would have been really proud.
...
Batman: Alfred, I am so sorry. I have incredible reflexes.
Alfred Pennyworth: I should have known better than to sneak up on you like that... Were you looking at the old family pictures again?
Batman: No, I wasn't!
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, I have seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966.
Batman: I have aged phenomenally!

Alfred catches Batman speaking to photos of his late parents and notices the behavior is part of a trend. He goes on to mention each time this has happened, which interestingly line up with each year a Batman movie was made.