Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quotes bring the laughs to the movie about a family on an adventurous road trip. The family comedy is the fourth in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid franchise based on the books by Jeff Kinney. Kinney co-wrote the screenplay along with David Bowers and Adam Sztykiel. Directed by David Bowers, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul opened theatrically in the United States on May 19, 2017.
In Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, Greg Heffley (Jason Drucker) is your typical kid who complains about typical kid things, such as having little control over his life. Along with brother Rodrick (Charlie Wright), Greg convinces parents Susan and Frank (Alicia Silverstone and Tom Everett Scott respectively) to go on a family road trip to Indiana.
While the guise of the road trip is to attend the boys' grandmother's 90th birthday party, really they want to attend a video game expo happening nearby. As easy as this may sound, surviving the road trip adventures and actually getting to the gamer expo is much harder than the brothers anticipated.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul opened alongside other May 2017 movies such as Alien: Covenant, Paris Can Wait, The Wall, and Lowriders.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Movie Quotes,
Zero Control Over Your Own Life
Greg: If there's one thing I've learned from my years as a being kid, it's that you have zero control over your own life.
Greg speaks to the camera in this Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quote to discuss life as a kid. He talks about having zero control of his life, something he's like to be different.
An Unplugged Road Trip
Susan: This is an unplugged road trip. No Instagrammy! No SnappyChat!
Susan gives the boys the worst news ever as they embark on their road trip. She might not know the names of the social networks they use, but she's declaring this trip device free.
Oh, Look How Cute
Susan: Oh, look how cute! The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg.
After the youngest Heffley brother wins a pig at a fair, Susan is pleased to learn it's potty trained. The feeling, however, changes fast when the smell of the piglet's dump spreads through the car.
Player's Expo is in Indianapolis
Greg: This is perfect! Player's Expo is in Indianapolis this weekend. It's only two inches away!
Rowley: I'm not sure that's how maps work.
Knowing that his grandmother's birthday party is in Indiana over the weekend, Greg gets a brilliant idea when he learns about Player's Expo in the area at the same time. How hard can it be to get there, it's only two inches away on the map?
The Driver is the DJ
Frank: The first rule of a road trip is that the driver is the DJ.
The boys are unimpressed when father Frank announces that the driver, mother Susan, is the DJ for their trip. The expressions the brothers make in this Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quote only get worse when Susan picks the Spice Girls.
That's a Mini Safe
Roderick: I got a microwave pizza.
Frank: Roderick, that's a mini safe.
Roderick: They disguised it as a microwave.
The family is stunned when Roderick mistakes the hotel safe for a microwave. Even after they correct him, he doesn't seem to understand.
There's Only One
Greg: You want one?
Susan: Oh, Greg, I wouldn't encourage them.
Greg: There's only one.
Greg does a nice thing by offering a seagull a cheese snack in these Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quote. But that nice thing turns bad quickly when a whole flock of birds enter the car looking for snacks of their own.
Who's Excited?
Susan: Who's excited about the great Heffley road trip?
Susan asks her family how excited they are to go on a road trip to Indiana to attend the kids' grandmother's 90th birthday. Considering she receives little response, it's safe to say they're not that excited.