“The Wedding Ringer” movie quotes bring the laughs when one groom with no friends hires a best man for his wedding to a girl of his dreams. The romantic comedy movie was directed by Jeremy Garelick using a screenplay he co-wrote with Jay Lavender. “The Wedding Ringer” opened in theaters in the United States on January 16, 2015.
In “The Wedding Ringer,” Doug Harris (Josh Gad) is marrying his dream girl, Gretchen (Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting), but is not on the social side and thus doesn’t have a best man or groomsmen to stand with him at the wedding. With only days until the big day, he enlists Jimmy Callahan (Kevin Hart) who runs a company providing paid best man services to help.
Jimmy takes on the job, including the difficult task of finding seven groomsmen, and agrees to be Doug’s best man. And while Jimmy makes it clear that this is strictly business, that the two will not be friends once all is said and done, their connection might just make for a relationship that money cannot buy.
“The Wedding Ringer” is one of the first comedies of the new year as it opens alongside the likes of ”Blackhat,” ”Taken 3,” ”Predestination,” ”A Most Violent Year,” ”The Interview,” ”Unbroken,” ”American Sniper,” ”Into the Woods,” ”Big Eyes,” ”The Gambler,” ”The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies,” ”Annie,” ”Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb,” ”Mr. Turner,” "Life Partners," "Comet," "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1," and "Horrible Bosses 2.
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-wedding-ringer-movie-quotes/movie-and-tv-quotes,
I Thought You Died
Seth: “Hello”
Doug Harris: “Seth, it’s Doug Harris. I was wondering if you’d want to be my best man… You’re the first person I thought of…”
Seth: “I heard you died!”
Doug Harris: “Eduardo, como estas?”
In search of a best man for his wedding, Doug phones the few guys he knows. After a couple of hangups and unfavorable responses, his odds of finding this best man are not looking good.
Bic Mitchum
Jimmy: “I’m assuming you made up a name for me?”
Doug Harris: “Bic Mitchum”
Jimmy: “Do I wear a cape? ‘Hey, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic.’ ‘I’m Bic Mitchum and I love candy!’ ‘Bic Mitchum can have whatever he want!’ All right, I like it.”
…
Gretchen: Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is Bic Mitchum?”
At first, Jimmy is not in love with the name Doug selected for him of Bic Mitchum but after saying it aloud a few times, he’s into it. Gretchen, though, is suspicious.
You Know the Rules
Jimmy: “I said, I’m not going to do it. This is to the groom, my best friend. To happily ever after!”
…
Andrew: “So, I guess that’s it.”
Jimmy: “I mean, you know the rules.”
Andrew: “I do, I just thought that…”
Jimmy: “Thought what?”
Andrew: “I thought we, like, maybe hit it off, right?”
Jimmy: “No”
Having felt as though he bonded with Jimmy during their time together, Andrew hopes that they can be friends after the wedding. Jimmy has to remind him that it’s a business relationship only.
I Gotta Be Honest
Gretchen: “What is going on with you?”
Doug Harris: “I uh, I um, I gotta be honest with you guys!”
…
Jimmy: “Hey, grandma! What the?”
Doug Harris: “Grandma made a full recovery. Doesn’t she look great?”
Doug feels guilty about lying to Gretchen about Jimmy and almost comes clean. Jimmy steps in and stops him, though lighting grandma on fire is an unintended consequence of that action.
How a Girl Like Gretchen Could Fall For Me
Jimmy: “You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer!”
Doug Harris: “You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing!”
Wanting to make Doug look good at his wedding, Jimmy takes him to learn how to dance. Little does Jimmy know, but Doug already has some moves.
These Guys Cannot Be My Groomsmen
Jimmy: “Hey, look who I got with me!”
Guys: “Hey!”
Jimmy: “You’re looking at your groomsmen.”
Doug Harris: “These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!”
It wasn’t easy but Jimmy procured seven groomsmen for Doug. However, Doug is less than impressed with this eclectic collection of guys.
Strictly a Business Relationship
Doug Harris: “I need your help!”
Jimmy: “This is strictly a business relationship! You’re not buying a new friend. You are hiring a best man.”
Doug Harris: “Thank you, thank you”
Jimmy: “Yo, what you doing? What you doing?”
Doug Harris: “I’m sorry. I just, I got really excited.”
Jimmy: “Dammit, man, white people!”
Jimmy agrees to be Doug’s best man but warns him that it’s strictly business. They will not be friends after their contract ends. Regardless, Doug is pretty excited.
There Is One Other Thing
Doug Harris: “I don’t know what to do. I told her that I have a best man lined up.”
Edmundo: “The truth is always the best.”
Doug Harris: “Well, what if the truth just isn’t an option?”
Edmundo: “There is one other thing.”
Doug reveals to Edmundo that he lied to his fiancé about having a best man when in reality, he has no friends. Edmundo urges him to come clean but when that’s not an option, he has another idea.
We Gotta Do a Whole Lot More
Jimmy: “God created the world in seven days. We gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time!”
Jimmy understands the task ahead of them. He has seven days to gather as many groomsmen and prepare them all for a wedding none will forget. It won’t be easy.
I Provide Best Man Services
Doris Jenkins: “Welcome to The Best Man, Inc.”
Jimmy: “So, Edmundo sent you to come find the oracle.”
Doug Harris: “What exactly do you do?”
Jimmy: “I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”
Doug Harris: “So, I'm not alone?”
Jimmy: “Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings do you think were in the US last year? 2.4 million!”
Doug Harris: “2.4 million”
Jimmy: “There were 2.4 million grooms! Do you think that each one them has someone as their best man?”
Doug Harris: “I never knew people like you existed.”
Jimmy: “How you looking on groomsmen?”
Doug Harris: “I need seven.”
Jimmy: “You need seven? Seven groomsman?”
Doug Harris: “I do”
Jimmy: “You’re asking me to pull off a golden tux. Too many things can go wrong. No!”
Doug Harris: “But there’s a name for it!”
Jimmy: “There’s also a name for a horse with a horn on its head. It’s called a unicorn. Don’t mean I can get you one.”
Looking for a best man, Doug heads to Jimmy’s business, The Best Man, Inc. Jimmy can surely provide a best man, but the need for seven groomsmen might be another story.