“Mortdecai” movie quotes tell the comical tale of one eccentric man tasked with recovering a stolen painting. The crime comedy movie was written by Eric Aronson and directed by David Koepp. In the second collaboration between Koepp and Johnny Depp, “Mortdecai” opened in theaters on January 23, 2015.
In “Mortdecai,” the title character or Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) lives a lavish life as an art dealer with a beautiful wife, Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow), and man servant Jock Strapp (Paul Bettany). While being a dashing art dealer with an interesting mustache doesn’t necessarily make him the best choice for the job, Mortdecai is summoned by Inspector Martland (Ewan McGregor) to hunt down a stolen Goya painting.
So Mortdecai, along with man servant Jock, heads to Los Angeles to find the painting but may have an ulterior motive. See Mortdecai is in some financial trouble but if, say, he could profit from the possession of the stolen painting, all that could be taken care of. Accomplishing this all, however, will be a hilarious tasks in itself.
“Mortdecai” helps open the 2015 movie season along with the likes of ”The Boy Next Door,” ”Still Alice,” ”The Wedding Ringer,” ”Blackhat,” ”Taken 3,” ”Predestination,” ”A Most Violent Year,” ”The Interview,” ”Unbroken,” ”American Sniper,” ”Into the Woods,” ”Big Eyes,” ”The Gambler,” ”The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies,” ”Annie,” ”Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb,” ”Mr. Turner,” "Life Partners," "Comet," "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1," and "Horrible Bosses 2.
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The Painting Has Disappeared
Inspector Martland: “Three months ago, a Spanish museum sent a Goya painting to be cleaned. The painting has disappeared. There’s a very bad man who wanted to fund worldwide revolution. Countless lives are at stake.”
Charlie Mortdecai: “And you would like me to find it?”
Inspector Martland: “Precisely”
Charlie Mortdecai: “What is in it for me, as they say?”
Inspector Martland: “Do it for Queen and country.”
Charlie Mortdecai: “No! All right, Queen and country, travel and living expenses, reasonable overhead.”
Inspector Martland: “Done!”
Inspector Martland approaches Charlie Mortdecai with a problem, a stolen painting, and an ask, for Mortdecai to go find the painting, capture the bad guy and save lives. Mortdecai, of course, wants to know what he will get out of this grand gesture.
This May Be a Customary Greeting in America
Charlie Mortdecai: “Who knows, this may be a customary greeting in America. I don’t know.”
Mortdecai tries to explain himself after greeting known nymphomaniac Georgina Krampf by touching her boobs. To Mortdecai, this is just a lost in translation moment, or so he says.
On the Set of a Pornographic Film
Inspector Martland: “Go to America and do what it takes to bring the painting back.”
…
Charlie Mortdecai: “I feel as though we’ve made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film.”
Sent to America to find the painting, Mortdecai finds more than he bargained for. The loose clothing norms among American women are surprising to Mortdecai, not that he’s especially complaining.
We Grab the Painting
Jock Strapp: “We grab the painting when no one’s looking.”
Charlie Mortdecai: “Genius!”
Knowing Mortdecai needs money, Jock has a brilliant idea. They will steal the already stolen painting they are looking for and profit. Sounds easy enough, right?
I Shall Have to Put My Foot Down, Darling
Johanna Mortdecai: “I thought I’d see how you secret agent men run the world.”
…
Charlie Mortdecai: “I’m afraid I shall have to put my foot down, darling.”
Johanna Mortdecai: “Sorry?”
Charlie Mortdecai: “With your permission, of course.”
Johanna is interested in learning about how secret agent men work. Meanwhile, Mortdecai is ready to put his food down with her, with her permission, of course.
I Am Lord Charlie Mortdecai
Charlie Mortdecai: “I am Lord Charlie Mortdecai, respected by all who know me, slightly. I am an art dealer, an aficionado. My wife, Johanna, my only true love. Jock is my man servant and handles all of our most pressing affairs. I am also on the verge of bankruptcy and therefore, we need a fiendishly clever plan to secure our reward.”
Charlie Mortdecai explains a bit about his life and those around him. Along with his wife and man servant, Mortdecai is kind of a big deal.
What Is That Thing on Your Lip?
Inspector Martland: “What is that thing on your lip?”
Charlie Mortdecai: “Some find it quite appealing.”
Inspector Martland is puzzled by Mortdecai’s choice of facial hair (as Mortdecai’s wife). While Mortdecai claims folks love it, that’s up for debate.
I Have a Bloody Man Servant
Johanna Mortdecai: “Charlie Mortdecai, where are you?”
Charlie Mortdecai: “Oh, a terribly vulgar place called Los Angeles.”
…
Charlie Mortdecai: “I am Mortdecai.”
Hotel Clerk: “Do you need help with your bags?”
Charlie Mortdecai: “No, I do not need help with my bags. I have a bloody man servant!”
When the hotel clerk offers Mortdecai help with his bags, he is stunned that he would be offered such a thing. How dare the clerk fail to recognize that he has a man servant with him?