The best Half Baked quotes bring the hilarious one-liners and favorite scenes from the stoner comedy film which follows a group of buddies who sell marijuana to free their friend from jail. The film was directed by Tamra Davis using a screenplay by Dave Chappelle and Neal Brennan. Half Baked was panned by critics when it opened on January 16, 1988, but soon became a cult favorite.
In Half Baked, a group of stoners, Thurgood (Dave Chappelle), Scarface (Guillermo Diaz), Brian (Jim Breuer) and Kenny (Harland Williams) all live and smoke together. When an honest mistake during a munchie run results in Kenny killing a diabetic police horse, he is sent to jail. The remaining guys try to raise money to free Kenny and make the choice to sell marijuana, which Thurgood steals from the lab where Thurgood works.
Initially their Mr. Nice Guy business is a success and they meet a number of interesting smokers (Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, Jon Stewart, Stephen Baldwin and Janeane Garagalo all cameo) but this also angers rival drug dealer, Samson (Clarence Williams III). To survive, and get Kenny out of jail, Thurgood, Scarface and Kenny are forced to work with the police to set up Samson, a task that is dangerous, especially when one member, Thurgood, is trying to quit weed to get a girl, Mary Jane (Rachel True).
Half Baked might not have been a favorite among critics but the zany quotes from the comedy have stood the test of time. Which Half Baked quote is your favorite? Vote for all the Half Baked movie quotes you love best right here.
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-best-half-baked-quotes-v1/movie-and-tv-quotes,
Butternuts!
Kenny: I love horses.
Cop: I love horses.
Kenny: I love buttered stuff.
Cop: Buttercup!
Kenny: Butternuts!
Cop: Buttercup!!!
Kenny: Cup!
Abba Zabba
Thurgood: Abba Zabba, you my only friend.
I Used to Suck D*** for Coke
Thurgood: I'm here today because I'm addicted to marijuana.
Rehab Patient: You in here 'cuz of marijuana?! Man, this is some bulls***!
Cocaine Addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck d*** for coke.
Rehab Patient: I seen him do it!
Cocaine Addict: Now that's an addiction, man. You ever suck some d*** for marijuana?
Thurgood: No, I can't say I have.
Cocaine Addict: I didn't think so.
Rehab Patient: Boo this man!
I Wanna Talk to Samson!
Sir Smoke-Alot: Bitch! You know what I want! Hahahahaha! I wanna talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! 'Cause it's hard being black and gifted! Sometimes I wanna throw it all down and get lifted!
I Know This Isn't Your Responsibility...
Scientist: Janitor? Uh, janitor?
Thurgood: Ah! Oh..sorry 'bout that. What is it, scientist?
Scientist: I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh, could you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor.
Thurgood: Just run this down?
Scientist: Yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just mop the rest of this s*** up. I'll be right back.
The Back of the $20 Bill... on Weed
Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a $20 bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy s***, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! Red team, go! Red team, go!
Hey Girl, You Hungry?
Kenny: Hey girl, you hungry?
Overweight Woman: Fuck you, n****!
One Heifer With Cheese
Employee: One heifer with cheese.
Scarface: I'm right behind you, yo. Turn around and ask me for a heifer with cheese, yo. Why you gotta make me feel inferior cause I'm on the grill, B? Damn!
Employee: Sorry!
...
Employee: Still waiting on that heifer, Julio.
Scarface: F*** you, f*** you, f*** you, you're cool, and f*** you, I'm out!
Smoked Yourself Retarted
Brian: I'll pretend I'm Jamaican, man! Yeah!
Thurgood: You have smoked yourself retarded!
We Callin' Dominoes
Brian: Get some...sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Dazs ice-cream bars, a whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn, graham crackers!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows, little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores, man. Celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.
Kenny: That's it?
Thurgood: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, p****.
Kenny: You got it... Hey, if I`m not back in 10 minutes, call the police.
Thurgood: If he ain't back in 10 minutes, we callin' Dominoes!