Hot Pursuit movie quotes tell the comical story of one pint-sized cop tasked with protecting a drug cartel witness as they travel through Texas. The comedy was directed by Anne Fletcher using a screenplay by David Feeney and John Quaintance. Hot Pursuit opened in theaters on May 8, 2015.
In Hot Pursuit, the five-foot-nothing cop Officer Cooper (Reese Witherspoon) is ordered to deliver drug dealer widow Daniella (Sofia Vergara) to Dallas where she will testify on a trial against one of the top drug cartel cases they've seen in a while. Instantly, the two butt heads as their lifestyles, Cooper as a simple, somewhat clumsy police officer and Daniella as a high maintenance wife with a thick Latino accent.
Despite their differences, the two are forced to work together when they realize that everyone is out to get them, including the drug cartel members and corrupt cops. The comedy follows as they try to make it to Dallas alive without a car, while eluding police, the cartel and each other.
Hot Pursuit opens alongside other great May 2015 movies including Avengers: Age of Ultron, Far From the Madding Crowd, Welcome to Me, The Water Diviner and Adult Beginners.
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I Am Her Lover
Officer Cooper: I know you're mad but can we just talk about this reasonably?
Daniella: Honey bunny! There you are! I've been looking all over for you.
Hunter: Who is that?
Daniella: I am her lover.
Hunter: What?
Daniella: We had a little fight but I'm sure you know whose fault it was. It's like being in love with some tiny little brick wall.
Hunter: How the hell you understand her?
Daniella: I usually don't even know what she's talking about. But we use body language.
Hunter: I'm calling the cops.
Daniella: This is outrageous! This is racial profiling! I can't be a lesbian because she's so unattractive and talks like some tiny little robot? Well let me tell you something. She's my tiny little weird robot and I love her.
Officer Cooper: Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Daniella: I'm trying to show him that I love you.
Officer Cooper: What are you doing?
Daniella: I'm distracting him so he won't call the cops.
Hunter: Yeah, I need to report two suspicious women on my property.
Officer Cooper: It's not working. Oh yeah, pull my hair. I like that.
Daniella: This is our favorite position. Oooh, la, la!
Hunter: They tried to seduce me with some lesbian stuff... She wanted me like in a big way, like, she had a breast boner. I'm not sure if you've ever seen that. But I'm a Christian so I didn't, I wasn't interested in that.
Upon encountering a hunter, Daniella tries to pretend that she and Officer Cooper are lovers. Despite their efforts, the hunter still ends up firing his rifle... at himself.
Height and Age
Female News Reporter: Officer Cooper stands at four feet, 11 inches.
Officer Cooper: Oh, come on!
Female News Reporter: The other suspect, a 45-year-old Latino woman.
Daniella: 45?! My madre!
...
Male News Reporter: Officer Cooper is four feet, nine inches.
Officer Cooper: I am five-foot, two.
Male News Reporter: Traveling with a 50-year-old suspect.
The more the news reports continue the shorter Officer Cooper gets and the older Daniella becomes, at least on television. Neither are amused.
Penis!
Officer Cooper: Randy?
Randy: Whoa, hey!
Officer Cooper: Penis! Oh my god! Penis!
Randy: I'm going to get...
Officer Cooper walks in on Randy is nothing more than his birthday suit. While it's mighty nice to look at, Cooper is a bit shocked by what she sees.
Everything's Going to Be Fine
Officer Cooper: You're in danger, ma'am, but everything's going to be fine.
Daniella: What about my husband?
Officer Cooper: Everything but your husband's going to be fine.
Daniella: Ahhhhhh!
Officer Cooper tries to calm Daniella down as they drive. She's not very good at it, however.
Some Lady Business
Officer Cooper: We have to get out of this car right now or they're going to kill us both. Follow me... Mrs. Riva is having some problems with some lady business.
Cop: Can't she just hold it?
Daniella: No, you see, once a month sheds its lining.
Officer Cooper: It sheds!
Daniella: So that the eggs descend into the...
Hauser: Oh my god!
In a pinch, Officer Cooper and Daniella resort to talking about menstruation to get away from two men there to kill them. Amazingly, it seems to work.
You Are Teeny Tiny
Officer Cooper: Mrs. Riva, I'm Officer Cooper. I'm here to escort you to Dallas. You must have not seen me.
Daniella: Oh, I saw you. [in Spanish] I was trying to hit your flat ass.
Officer Cooper: Mrs. Riva, I am a police officer.
Daniella: Oh please! Look at you! You are teeny tiny! You look like a little dog that I can put in my purse.
Officer Cooper: I can assure you, ma'am, that I meet the minimum height requirement of an adult female my weight.
Officer Riva arrives to pick up Daniella to begin their trip across Texas for her testimony. Instantly, it's clear that Daniella is not impressed with the officer assigned to her protection detail.
Escort Our Witness to Dallas
Captain Emmett: What I'm about to say can't leave this room. Do you know who Vicente Cortez is?
Officer Cooper: Yes, he is the top lieutenant in the cartel. He is known as the Bank of Bogota, the Tender Tender, the Lender Lender, the Money Launderer, El Chapo, the Pork Chop...
Captain Emmett: Okay, okay... Tomorrow morning, you will escort our witness to Dallas so she can testify against Cortez... But Cortez has killed every witness we've had.
Officer Cooper is given her latest assignment, which also explains the plot of the film. She is tasked with escorting a witness across Texas to testify against a big player in the drug cartel.
That's No Underwear
Daniella: What is that white thing?
Officer Cooper: Oh, that's my underwear.
Daniella: That's no underwear. That's a diaper!
Officer Cooper: I like a lot of coverage.
When they're looking for clothes, it's clear that Officer Cooper and Daniella's lifestyles, including choice of undergarments, are very different. What is good coverage to Cooper is a diaper to Daniella.
Can You Help Us With That?
Randy: I know who you are. You all are wanted.
Officer Cooper: I am a police officer. Mrs. Riva, she's a federal witness in my protective custody. Everybody in this state is looking for her, dirty cops and the cartel. We need a couple hours to lie low. Now, can you help us with that?
Randy: I kind of like your smile.
Officer Cooper finds old suspect Randy and asks for his help to hide she and Daniella. Randy is willing to do it, but might be asking a price that Cooper is not willing to pay.
Baking Powder
Officer Cooper: You don't have to like me but I'm your best chance at surviving.
...
Officer Cooper: What the heck is that?
Daniella: Philippe must have put baking powder in the car.
Officer Cooper: How much baking powder?
Daniella: I don't know, maybe like 42 kilos.
Truck Driver: Hey, are y'all okay? I took that turn way too fast. What the heck is tis white stuff?
Officer Cooper and Daniella: [together] Baking powder
Officer Cooper: We're bakers, muffins, toast, cakes.
Truck Driver: I should call the police.
Officer Cooper: No, I am the mother f'in police. Don't you see? There's no major damage here. You're free to go.
Truck Driver: But I destroyed your car.
Officer Cooper: I said you're free to go! Except, I need you to drop us off at the nearest establishment where we can buy some clothing at a reasonable price but more importantly at a reasonable price. I said that before, didn't I? This accident's just got me all jacked up.
When their car is totaled and white powder flies in the air, Officer Cooper tries her best to talk their way out of it with the other driver. Considering she's acting a little off and talking very fast, perhaps it's not baking powder after all.