The Brothers Grimsby movie quotes introduce viewers to another inappropriately funny character from the man who brought you Borat, Ali G, Bruno and The Dictator. The comedy film was written by Sacha Baron Cohen and Phil Johnston using a story they created the Peter Baynham. Louis Leterrier directed The Brothers Grimsby, which opened in theaters on March 11, 2016.
The Brothers Grimsby, brothers Nobby (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Sebastian (Mark Strong) are separated when Sebastian is adopted by a nice couple while Nobby is left in an orphanage. The boys grow up very differently with Sebastian becoming a top MI6 agent and Nobby marrying Dawn (Rebel Wilson) and giving her 11 children. During that time, Nobby has wanted nothing more than to reunite with Sebastian.
So when Nobby learns that Sebastian will be somewhere at a specific time, Nobby shows up and surprises his baby brother. Doing so, however, results in an unplanned assassination which sends Sebastian and Nobby on the run for their lives. Meanwhile, Rhonda George (Penélope Cruz) is planning to release a deadly weapon capable of killing a billion people and Sebastian, with the help of Nobby, is the only one who can stop her. That's easier said than done though with Nobby, quite the drunken idiot, a bit liability to all involved.
The Brothers Grimsby had stiff competition at the box office when it opened alongside the likes of 10 Cloverfield Lane, Eye in the Sky, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, and Knight of Cups.
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My Shot was Compromised
Sebastian: Because of you, my shot was compromised!
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Reporter: A huge manhunt to find the rogue secret agent
When Nobby approaches Sebastian and causes him to accidentally shoot his gun, a simple mission by a secret MI6 agent becomes a worldwide terrorist incident. All eyes are looking for Sebastian as the world thinks he is some crazy rogue agent killing folks at will.
These Boys are Inseparable
Nobby: Look, Seb, that's the couple that's adopting us.
Sebastian: You are coming with me, right, Nobby?
Nobby: I'd never leave my little brother.
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Clive Graves: We've decided to adopt one of the brothers, Mr. Lowsley.
Harold Lowsley: But these boys are inseparable. It would break their hearts.
Mr. and Mrs. Graves tell Mr. Lowsley that they'd like to adopt only one of the boys. Knowing how inseparable Nobby and Sebastian are, Mr. Lowsley is sure this will make both boys incredibly sad. He's not wrong.
This Virus Will Kill a Billion People
Rhonda George: This virus will kill a billion people.
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Sebastian: I need to stop her.
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Nobby: I've lost you once. I won't lose you again.
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Dawn: Go help your brother save the world.
Sebastian knows that a billion lives are at stake if Rhonda unleashes the virus, and knows that he needs to stop her. Nobby, on the other hand, wants nothing more than to reunite with his brother, even if it slows him down. Surely this will end well, right?
We Finally Found Your Brother
Nobby: For 28 years I've been searching for me baby brother.
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Bob Tolliver: Nobby! We finally found your brother! He's going to be at this posh event tomorrow.
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Nobby: Finally I can make things right.
Sebastian: Nobby? Oh my god.
After searching for his little brother for nearly three decades, Nobby finally finds Sebastian. However, in approaching Sebastian, Nobby inadvertently causes a rogue assassination.
Who's The Man
Nobby: I lost him forever. I'm useless.
Dawn: You are not useless! Who's the man who can get me pregnant without even waking me up?
Nobby: Me
Dawn: Who's the man who has never even read a book?
Nobby: Me!
Dawn: Who's the man who had sex with me in a police station without even getting arrested?
Nobby: That wasn't me.
Dawn: Oh, never mind that.
When Nobby gets down, Dawn tries her best to encourage him and bring him back to a positive mindset. It works for a minute, at least until she confuses her partner in a bizarre sexual experience.
Suck It!
Sebastian: That pellet was filled with a toxin. I'll be dead in 90 seconds if you don't suck it out. You can suck it or you can let me die.
Nobby: Okay, what would you like written on your gravestone?
Sebastian: Suck it!
Nobby: And in what font would you like that?
In one of the more vulgar scenes from the film, Sebastian gets hit with a poisonous dart right in his man parts. The only solution, one Nobby is not eager to do, is sucking the poison out.
You Can't Hurt Us
Sebastian: Don't worry. It's bulletproof.
Nobby: You can't hurt us. We've got bulletproof glass!
Sebastian: Roll it up!
The concept that bulletproof glass is only protection against bullets while rolled up completely escapes Nobby who rolls down said bulletproof glass to allow the bullets of those chasing him and Sebastian right through. Not smart, Nobby, not smart at all.
How Can I Help?
Nobby: How can I help?
Sebastian: You stay away from me!
Nobby: Don't worry, brother! I won't leave you.
Sebastian knows that if he's going to stay safe and alive while there's a manhunt for his head, he needs to ditch Nobby. Doing this, however, when Nobby doesn't want to leave his side, is hard even for a super secret agent.
Understand Why You Love Guns
Pavel Lukashenko: You don't have guts!
Nobby: I disagree, Ukrainian Ben Affleck... Whoa, that was easy... I understand why you love guns so much. I mean, it completely detaches you from the guilt of your actions.
Sebastian: Ugh, will you stop shooting everything?
After shooting someone he deems Ukrainian Ben Affleck, Nobby gets the thrill of shooting guns. Like others, he feels little remorse for his actions and shoots everything in sight just because he can.