Office Christmas Party Movie Quotes

Office Christmas Party movie quotes bring the laughs to the comedy film about a tech company who seeks to wow a client and save their branch office with a raging holiday party. The Christmas movie was written by Justin Malen, Laura Solon and Dan Mazer and directed by Will Speck and Josh Gordon. Office Christmas Party opened in theaters on December 9, 2016.

In Office Christmas Party, the Chicago branch of tech company Zenotek fails to meet its quarterly quota and receives a visit from company CEO Carol (Jennifer Aniston). Carol announces to CTO Josh (Jason Bateman), manager and her brother Clay (T. J. Miller) and others that their staff will be laid off unless they sign big client Walter (Courtney B. Vance). Carol also firmly states that all branch office Christmas parties are explicitly canceled.

So hoping to wow Walter with a one-of-a-kind experience, Josh, Clay, HR head Mary (Kate McKinnon), head of tech Tracey (Olivia Munn) and others defy orders and throw the holiday party with Walter as their special guest. But it doesn't take long for the party to grow way out of control, which puts the safety of many guests and the future of the branch office very much in question.

Office Christmas Party movie quotes give a sneak peek into the film just as quotes do for other movies released around the same time such as La La Land, Jackie, Allied, and Lion.

Meghan: Greatest party ever, hashtag open bar
Coworker: Who are you sending that to?
Meghan: Everyone in Chicago

Meghan is having such a great time at the Zenotek Christmas party that she tweets out info to everyone in Chicago. Surely this act in these Office Christmas Party movie quotes won't lead to hundreds of randoms crashing the party, right? 

Carol: This branch is failing. I'm shutting you down. 
Josh: You've gotta give us a little bit of time to turn this around.
Carol: All right, if by some miracle you can close Walter Davis and his $14 million account, your jobs are safe.
Clay: Done and you're going to look so stupid.
Carol: Then we'll finally have something in common.
Clay: God damn it! She's so mean!

Clay and Josh negotiate the future of their branch with CEO Carol and are allowed one final chance to bring in a big client. Unfortunately for Clay, Carol gets the last laugh in these Office Christmas Party movie quotes, as usual.

Carol: I am CEO of Zenotek, please just drive.
Driver: I dropped off four people there at that party. They gave me three stars like a bunch of bitches. 
Carol: What did you just say?
Driver: I said they're a bunch of bitches.

After Carol's flight is canceled, she leaves the airport in an Uber-like car service. She didn't expect to have to stay in Chicago and surely didn't expect for her brother to directly defy her orders and throw a rager at their branch office. 

Mary: Hey, Meghan, it's winter. Can we put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable?
Jeremy: Are you body shaming her right now?
Mary: Some people here might find your outfit offensive.
Jeremy: You can't silence us all!
Mary: I know why you took a medical leave.

HR head Mary attempts to address an issue with Meghan's clothing, but Jeremy steps in to accuse her of body shaming. Too bad for Jeremy, as Mary mentions in these Office Christmas Party movie quotes, she knows all of his secrets. 

Walter: I love this company! I feel alive!
Josh: I think he meant to swing there. 

Prospective client Walter lets loose at the Zenotek holiday party, including grabbing a string of lights in an attempt to swing across the office. But when he falls and injures himself on a filing cabinet, all right in front of CEO Carol, the party takes a sour note.

Mary: Hey, if you are going to have intercourse tonight, please do not do it on company property. Go into the Rite-Aid parking lot!
Joel: We talking Rite-Aid baby-making all night!

Keeping the company safe from liability, HR head Mary instructs the partygoers to refrain from intercourse on the property. Luckily, a nearby venue, namely the nearby drug store parking lot, is there for the baby-making.

Clay: Guys, what if we show him the greatest time of his life at our Christmas party tonight? This is how we save everybody's job!
Tracey: It's not the worst idea.
...
Clay: Walter, do you party?
Walter: I used to. 

In an unconventional way to secure a client, Clay proposes that they impress Walter by throwing an incredible party with him as the special guest. He's not completely opposed to it, though it is kind of a stretch that the plan will work.

Josh: It's Christmas, we should celebrate, they said, just a little get together for the employees, have a few drinks, blow off a little steam, nothing crazy.

Josh explains the initial reason his company threw a holiday party for their staff in this  Office Christmas Party movie quote. It was only supposed to be a small gathering, nothing major, but that idea went out the window quick.

Carol: Is there anything else?
Mary: Actually, yes, this is a sample cheese board for our holiday mixer tonight.
Carol: You're having a Christmas party tonight? 
Mary: It's not a Christmas party. It's a non-denominational holiday mixer, more inclusive.
Carol: It's not happening!
Clay: Yeah, it's definitely, well, it's not happing, because it happens at 5:00 in the afternoon. It's just a small thing that's really important to all of us. Trust me, it's going to suck. 
Carol: No, it's not going to suck because it's canceled. 
Jeremy: What?
Carol: All branch Christmas parties are canceled!
Clay: All right, it's canceled.
Carol: Clay, I mean it.
Clay: Carol, guys, the holiday mixer is canceled.
Carol: Yes. Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you. I saw that. You whispered to the farty cheese lady. 
Clay: I'm telling you, the thing is not happening at all.
Carol: I'm not messing with you. Hey, stop doing that, all right?

When HR head Mary mentions to CEO Carol that their branch is having a holiday mixer, Carol is furious. She instructs brother and branch manager Clay to cancel it, but he doesn't seem to want to listen.