She's the most confusing, hilarious, and mysterious character in the award-winning Orange Is The New Black! Equal parts poetic, manic, and romantic, she's one of the most fascinating characters in recent memory, and her unrequited love for Piper was probably one of the more humorous-turned-tragic story lines in the series.
Let's be real: She throws a pie for you, you're wife'd up. It's entirely that simple. What's there to debate about? She's a fount of hilarious sayings, and we've got enough OINTB quotes from Crazy Eyes to hold you over until new episodes start airing.
The longer the series goes on, however, the mania in her eyes becomes more than just comic relief. It's a trainwreck in slow-motion, leading us to wonder: why is Crazy Eyes in jail? How did she come to be here? This list doesn't have that answer, but what we do have are some killer Crazy Eyes quotes and photos from the series. So when you need to get your OINTB fix between episodes of the Netflix series, check out this list!
From poetically quoting Shakespeare to terrifyingly threatening violence, Crazy Eyes runs the whole spectrum of emotions! Vote up her craziest looks and quotes here.
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She Does Have a Bit of a Temper
"Sometimes when I'm real upset, they tie me down like a balloon so I don't float away."
Her Self-Esteem Is Doing Just Fine
"I am not crazy. I am unique."
Being Self-Aware Isn't Her Strong Suit
Crazy Eyes: "Can I ask you one more question?"
Piper: "Yeah, of course."
Crazy Eyes: "How come everyone calls me 'Crazy Eyes'?"
She's Got a Lot of Opinions About the World
"There used to be a sign that said 'CAUTION! WET FLOOR! Really told people what was going on."
Those Eyes, Though
"Almost the exact same thing happened to me, but it was tuna salad."
She'll Totally Sacrifice for You
Piper: "I'm not your wife."
Crazy Eyes: "I threw my pie for you."
When She Wants Something, She's Gonna Let You Know
"Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me!"
She's Got Her Priorities Straight
"Don't waste time with chicks who are weeds if you're a garden rose."
Really, She Knows When It's True Love
"If she likes dragons, wife her up!"
Don't Get Her Started on Chocolate
"Chocolate and vanilla swirl-irl, swirl-irl!"